Understanding
by mckee11223
Summary: When Hera is captured by the Empire, the crew of the Ghost must rescue her, but it isn't as easy as it sounds. A major blast to the past, what will the crew find out about Kanan Jarrus? And what will he find out about himself? Has major spoilers for A New Dawn, but you will not understand if you haven't read the book.
1. Chapter 1

"No!" He shouted, running after the retreating group. He saw the agony on her face, the way the imperials were roughly holding her. Her lekku swung behind her, her mouth contorted in a silent scream. He didn't get farther than the ramp, because a hulking figure was blocking him.

"You can't save her!" Zeb yelled, even though Kanan was standing right in front of him, "You'll get yourself killed!"

Ezra fired his energy slingshot, a useless defence against the Jedi. Kana dodged it easily and elbowed Zeb out of the way. The lasat responded with an indignant grunt. When Kanan turned to look back at the Ghost, Sabine grabbed him by the shoulders. "You can't go there! They have armies. You can't save her!"

Kanan shrugged her off. "Then I'll die trying."

"But why is she so important to you?" Ezra asks. Kanan stopped midstride. Then he turned towards the Ghost.

"Kanan!" Ezra shouts, chasing after him.

"Kanan!" Ezra found Kanan in the control room, sitting in Hera's seat. "Why is she so important to you? Can you just answer the question?"

Kanan sighs and put his head on his hands. "Kid, you ever wonder about my past?" The question caught Ezra by surprise.

"Yeah, all the time."

Kanan slumped back in the chair. "Hera and I met on Gorse. I was in my early twenties, and she was maybe eighteen. I knew from the moment I saw her that there was something special about her, something that not many women had. Back then, I wasn't focused. I was a migrant, moving from planet to planet for odd jobs. I never let myself get too attached to anyone or anyplace." Kanan looked away as if embarrassed. "I lived to flee, to earn enough money to drink another day. That's what I had become after years and years of fear, of always being on my toes, never being too exceptional. I tried to throw away the force, but it isn't something that can be forgotten in a trash can back on Corusant.

Ezra listened curiously. He'd never heard or seen his master as anything but confident, but he knew that all members of the Ghost had a history, and this was his.

"I isn't fair to say that we met. It was more like," He scratched his beard, "It was more like she found me. We pulled off the op, but we killed many in the process; even those who helped us, who got tangled in things they never should have been involved with. That was the first time I ever felt needed, the first time my life had a purpose." He glared daggers at Ezra. "Do you understand now, how much Hera means to me?"

"I do now," Ezra said with a tone of seriousness unlike him. He turned to leave the room. "Are you coming to save our captain?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. You're reading this because you want to, and all characters and planets do not belong to me. I'm not making any money off this. Please tell me in the comments if any of the details about them aren't canon, because I cannot stand people (including myself) who don't care about writing canon. Thank you for reading!**

I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't believe it. All those times, all my nagging and checking and flying have led me to this. I just couldn't believe this. I sat in a cell. It, well, had four grey walls, and a, uh, bench-like thing that I was sitting on. There was no window. There was no door. There was just a high ceiling and the hole they dumped me through. I started to pace around. Were they trying to keep me here as bait? Then why all the security? It's like they didn't want me to be rescued.

They left me here to rot.

The Imperials are the real enemy, not Kanan, I told myself. But I barely believed it. They still hadn't come for me, and based on my growling stomach, it's been a while. I felt the bruises building up on my throat where they had choked me. I felt the pain at the back of my eyes, and I knew that if I kept pitying myself, I would be lost. Lost like the Sith. With a pang I remembered Kanan's face as I was being dragged away. If he was lost to the dark side –

I don't know what to do. All these years, I had the ideas, and he had the plan. Sure, our ops never followed the plan, but I always felt safe relying on him. And the crew. The crew was his idea. He was right after all. I didn't need a traveling companion, or a revolutionary. I needed a crew, just as much as the crew needed me. I needed to get back.

Putting my ear to the wall, I could hear storm troopers talking. The sound carried easily from the outside to here, and that's how I knew my plan would work. I followed the voices to where they were strongest, raised my boot, and kicked the wall in. The troopers outside were more stunned than hurt, but it gave to time to run away. Running, it seemed, was all I did. Only when I wasn't fighting, I reminded myself. I had time to look at my surroundings in a way that a good friend taught me. The walls were curved upwards, like a tunnel. They weren't made of steel or anything common in a prison, though. I slowed down and touched the wall. A white chalky dust came off on my hands. Plaster. But the only place that I know of that has plaster, is Gorse. My heart skipped a beat as I realized where I might be, and I dimly wondered why I was here. Only dimly though, because troopers were coming at me. Readying myself, I jumped up at the wall. The squadron only had a second to look surprised, because I rebounded off, kicked some buckets, and grabbed a blaster. I didn't want to do this, but I shot the whole squad, including the ones that were already down.

I hated killing people, even if they were working for the Empire. They were regular men and woman who were brainwashed and had no other choice. I didn't even know who were under those helmets. There could be people, people like Sabine who endured pain and suffering at the hands of the Empire. There could be people like Ezra, who had someone important taken away from them. And there could be people like me. I shook off the thought. It wasn't that the people back there didn't deserve a thought; it just wasn't the right time. I needed to get out, but to where?


	3. Chapter 3

Kanan raised his hand in front of him. The familiar hum of the force resonated in his ears as he tried again and again to find Hera.

"Look. We don't have a plan. We don't have a location. We don't even have a pilot. Even if they took Hera to another planet, how are we going to get to her?" Ezra complained, but got a shock from Chopper. The droit was unusually quiet, and the shock didn't pack much of a punch. He was obviously afraid too, but it's not like an astromich could show it.

Sabine shushed Ezra. "Kanan's trying to focus."

Embarrassed, Ezra turned around and began to fidget with his energy slingshot. His back burned from the stare Sabine gave him.

Kanan suddenly stood up. "I know where we're going, but it's going to be hard."

"Not like anything we've ever done before, eh?" Zeb chuckled, punching Ezra, "I mean, how many times have we had to break this kid out of prison?"

"Not that kind of hard," Kanan said, "I mean we have to go to another planet."

Sabine's eyes lit up. "Does that mean we're going into hyperspace? Oh, I just love the colors!" She twirled her blaster in her hands with anticipation.

Kanan sighed. "Yes, we're going into hyperspace. Do any of you even care _where_ we're going?"

"I do!" Ezra and Zeb said at the same time. They glared at each other for a second before turning to face Kanan.

"We're going to Gorse."

Ezra stifled a gasp. "Isn't that when –"

"Yes, Ezra, it is." Kanan interrupted. Ezra was confused. Why didn't he let him finish? Don't the others know?

"Ok, then," Sabine said, settling down at the controls, "But how do you fly this thing?"

"Yeah! Like I said before, we don't have a pilot," Ezra said, "Does the Ghost have an instruction manual?"

"No," Kanan said, rubbing his hands together, "It has me."

"You know how to fly?" Sabine exclaimed, looking their leader up and down to make sure he was, in fact, Kanan Jarrus.

"Yes, but I'm nowhere near as good as Hera."

Sabine was unconvinced. "Even if we get there, how will you know where Hera is?"

"First of all," Kanan said, sitting down again in Hera's seat, "I can sense her. Second, if she escapes, there's a place I know she'll go…"


	4. Chapter 4

"This is Gorse?" Zeb asked incredulously, "I thought it would be more fitting for the Empire's prison. This looks like a planet for brawlers!"

"That's because it is." Kanan stepped out of the Ghost. "Come on. I'll show you our rendezvous point."

Zeb looked at Ezra, and Ezra shrugged. Kanan had been moody ever since they'd landed in an abandoned junkyard full of very old buses that look like they've never seen the light of day. He looked to the sky. Considering the climate of Gorse, that was probably true. What he didn't understand was why Kanan seemed…

Different.

He carried himself a different way, his steps changing stride every now and then. His lightsaber was nowhere to be seen, and his eyes looked at the landscape… Differently. That was the only word to describe him.

"Kanan, is there something wrong?" Sabine asked, voicing his concerns.

Kanan shook his head. "Nothing. Nothing is wrong." But the crew could tell that he was lying. When they finally came to a town, Kanan motioned for them to stop. "I need to check to see if something is still standing."

And he ran off. He ducked and weaved between alleyways, his lithe body a blur moving through the streets. It was like he'd lived here his whole life, and that wasn't too far from the truth.

Kanan arrived at an insignificant building, a cantina, as it seems. He took a big breath, and walked in.

People young and old stood in the old cantina. It seems that since its old owner died, there have been some changes. Everything seemed refurbished; the only thing that remained the same was the bar. It seems the new owner wanted to keep it, and the familiar stains and pockmarks on it made Kanan stop. The force hummed all around him, and then he detected a subtle blip, a calling that he knew. Behind the bar stood a Sullustan woman that could potentially expose his cover. She absentmindedly washed the dishes, but her face was contorted, burned beyond recognition. Kanan knew that she couldn't see out of her eyes, the eyes that she once prided herself on. He quickly ducked out of the cantina. The rendezvous was secure. He didn't know on sight alone; sight was far overrated; he knew because he trusted the woman behind the bar. He never forgets an op, or those who helped him during it.

He ran back to the Ghost. "Come on. The rendezvous is secure." He said to the half-asleep crew. They perked up and went to the cantina with him.

"Why here?" Zeb asked, barely fitting through the door, "Why this place?"

Kanan paid him no attention. "This is our rendezvous point. Come back here if all else fails and ask the woman behind the counter to help." He took a breath for confidence, "And tell her that you're with me."

"But why would she help us?" Sabine asked, her attention on the Sullustan.

"Because she never forgets."


	5. Chapter 5

My heart pounding, I raced through the streets that I had once known. There were little similarities to the past, and it was only one op out of a million, but I knew my way around these streets. At least I hoped I did. Glancing back, I couldn't see any storm troopers chasing me, but I knew they were there, lurking behind crates and in stores and homes.

I looked around in terror. I was in the middle of a market square, with people hustling around doing their everyday things. No one paid any attention to the Twi-lek woman browsing fruits. I conscientiously purchased a cloak, and put it over my lekku. It stung, but I could get used to it.

I needed to get away, to get to a comm and signal the Ghost. I had no way of knowing whether or not they were already here, but I had to take a chance.

Even back when I was little, when Twi-leks were a prize, I've always been good at blending into crowds. Let's see how good I am.

Carefully matching my step to a human beside me, I slouched slightly and tugged on my cloak. I then rubbed my wrist as if something was bothering me, making sure the cloak covered my arm. Twi-lek slaves, though banned, were still common. Pretending to be one has gotten through some very tough places. I followed this man through half the town with no idea where he was going. It was only when the crowd began to thin out did I turn onto a side street.

It was completely and utterly unintentional that I found myself walking on a street I knew, but only vaguely remembered. The air smelled strongly of blood and alcohol, and yet I found myself walking towards a small building on the end of the street. A cantina, my brain told me. But not just any. As I walked in, I was plagued a memory, a memory I'd promised Kanan would never surface.

It was about 6 years ago that I had met Kanan, and hell knows what kind of trouble we've been in since then. But this, this all started with information. And information is a burden you don't want to have. I remember meeting a Sullustan woman, Zalluna, who worked as a techie on Gorse's moon, Cyndia. My contact, Hetto, a colleague of hers, had been arrested. It wasn't the first time I've hurt someone to achieve my goals, but it was the first time I ever felt remorse. I remember Kanan bugging me, that he was smitten with me at the time. I smiled at the thought. It was one of my earliest memories of him, before I'd known he was a Jedi. I'd thought he was just one of the brawlers, and stuck him firmly in that category. Who knows what might have happened if I hadn't, and just graciously accepted his help? I shook my head on reflex. Then maybe not so many would've died.

I walked to an empty booth at the far end of the cantina, where it was quiet, quiet being a relative term, determined to wait it out until I could 'borrow' a ship. And then I saw the bartender.


	6. Chapter 6

After they went over the plan, the crew of the Ghost disassembled. For the first time the crew's ever seen, maybe ever, Kanan was uncomfortable with his part in the plan.

Because it meant he was going to get his old job back.

It was his own mistake, he thought. If you're going to tell someone about your past, at least do it in a manner where you won't be likely to get shot. Walking back into Moonglow, where he used to fly cargo, and demanding a job seemed like a suicide mission. Of course, he was a suicide flyer.

Still, he wasn't happy.

"You'll do fine. Kanan, your part is the only part in this mission that matters." Sabine said.

"Why don't we just use the Ghost?" Kanan tried, determined to not go back.

"Because our ID scrambler was captured by the Imperials. They'll know we're coming as soon as we take off." Sabine reminded him, smoothing her down her hair. "You never had a problem with revisiting the past before."

But they all knew that this time was different. If they didn't save Hera, then she could be dead, or worse.

The Empire could do far worse things to her.

"Fine!" Kanan said in defeat, and stood up to leave. When they were outside, Kanan pulled Ezra to a dark alley. Careful to stay out of earshot of the crew, he whispered something to Ezra. As he spoke, Ezra's eyes widened.

"Really?" He asked, excited and gravely nervous at the same time. If this is what Kanan was willing to do, and prepared to do, this must be a really important mission.

"Really." Kanan said. And from his bag he took out a lightsaber. It was just like his, but when the lazer sword shot out, it was perfected to Ezra's height. In the handle was a button, and when Ezra asked Kanan what it was, he said to press it. "But don't aim it at me!" He joked.

Ezra pressed the button. The lightsaber immediately retracted, trading its blue laser for a short handle. A toss in the air confirmed it. The lightsaber had a blaster built in.

"To help you blend in." Kanan said simply, and walked off in the direction of the start of the rebellion, the place where it all began.

Moonglow.


	7. Chapter 7

Zaluna Myder had lived in darkness for 6 years, but she didn't mind. Her ears still picked up everything that her scarred eyes couldn't, and what was there to see on a barren planet like Gorse?

After the one adventure of her life, she'd settled down on Gorse and owned a cantina, where the previous owner had died. She owed a very good friend something, and this is how she chose to repay her. He, and a few others, have helped her see, even after her face had been burned. She looked, but never really saw.

As she was washing dishes at the bar, she heard a sound to her left. It was a voice, a voice she hadn't heard since the faithful day, when her glorious moon had been saved. Why would Kanan Jarrus be back on Gorse, in the bar, of all places?

She continued to wash dishes, seemingly unaware of the man. She imagined how he would look now: tall, since his voice was deeper, with his hair tied back and his ridiculous (not that she would say that to his face) goatee. She never got tired of imagining, and she didn't have to, since she never forgot how he looked, or what he did.

She heard his in deep conversation, his voice wavering from time to time. There might be 2, maybe 3 people that he was talking to, two males and a female.

"Come back here if all else fails and ask the woman behind the counter to help." She heard him say. Her ears perked up.

"Why here?" A gruff male voice said, "Why this place?"

Zaluna tilted her head to catch the answer. She was curious what Kanan would say.

"Because she never forgets." Zaluna smiled. So he did remember her. Her brow knitted in confusion, not that anyone can see through the burn mark. After all these years, there was someone else he would never forget. Where was Hera Syndulla?


	8. Chapter 8

"This is Specter 6, I've, uh, taken care of the west exit. Repeat, west exit secure." The comm link cracked as Sabine listened in on conversation. She was standing in front of a building that looked like it had never seen the light of day. Its steel walls rose well above other buildings in the district, the sure sign that the Empire had been here. Sure, Kanan didn't look like he needed help, but there was nothing he could say to stop them from, um, "Imperial proofing" the building that Moonglow was in. When she'd asked what Moonglow was, there wasn't much of an answer. "It's where i used to fly explosives." Kanan had said simply, his face betraying no emotion.

As she looked at the building, though, it seemed so much more than just an explosives factory. "Specter 1? Specter 1? Guys, I've lost Specter 1!" Ezra's panicked voice came through the comms, but Sabine was already running.

"Where did you last see him?" She breathed into the comm, her body already a blur through the halls. No sign of Kanan anywhere. When there was no answer, she yelled into the comm link, "Where did you last see him!" But was met with a crack of static. Her fear took over. It was just like when she trained at the academy...

She shook her head, as if it would clear her thoughts. She couldn't be thinking about that right now; it would jeopordize the mission. And the mission was to obtain a ship. Legally.

She rounded the corner, and suddenly stopped. She couldn't see the road behind her. She put her hand where the bend should have been, but was met with an invisible force. She tried running forward, but still the same thing happened. She was trapped, with no way to call for help. Then a door opened.

**Do not judge me, every fanfic on Star Wars Rebels must have Kallus in it. It just has to.**

Agent Kallus walked out, a smug grin on his face. Behind him was Kanan, his mouth gagged and his limbs tied. How Kallus managed to win against the Jedi, she would never know, but she suspected it had something to do with the confined space and the huge bo staff in his hands, the same kind Zeb has. She gulped, knowing just how much pain it could cause, what it would do to her if it touched her. Seeing the fear written plainly on her face, Kallus laughed, his voice a frog's croak compared to Kanan's truly carefree days.

"You don't think I'll hurt you, do you?" He said, circling around her as if she were some kind of prey. She kept her composure, standing straight as possible like she's done ever since the academy. "I would much rather appreciate it if you gave yourself up, for the sake of your friend. He gestured with his staff at Kanan, who was still unconscious.

"Why do you want me?" She asked carefully, the way she had been taught at the academy. Never answer, never stop talking. Funny how many things she learned from the Empire circled around her head, day in and day out.

"I didn't want you, exactly."

"That's nice. I'm not good enough of a target."

"I would much have preferred that little padawan of yours," He said, gazing briefly at her comm before resuming his pacing, "But you're bait enough."

"Bait for what? What are you planning to do with us?" She asked, her voice full of contempt and hate.

"Nothing much really, that is, until we get the full crew." Then he dragged Hera out, her leg at an awkward angle, wearing a cloak that Sabine was sure hadn't been there when she was captured. Sabine could tell that she had escaped at some point, based on the lack of storm troopers guarding her. Kallus must have caught her and kept it to himself. But if Hera escaped, what was she doing back here?

**HAHAHA I'm evil, leaving you at a cliffhanger. Too bad, but you guys know I update often. Please tell me if you have any ideas for future fanfics, and check out my works for other things. Enjoy!**


	9. Chapter 0: NOTICE

**Guys, give me some ideas here. Seriously. I have major writers block. Any idea is welcome, about anything. It doesn't even have to be about this fanfic. I will try to write it and dedicate it to you. ANY IDEAS!**


	10. Chapter 9

If I had never met Kanan, I don't think I would have ever set foot in a bar. Much less an unsavory place like the Asteroid Belt. I swear, at some point, I'm going to wake up on the Ghost, go to Kanan's room, and punch him for tainting me with whatever virus he's got. Now I'm having realistic dreams.

"Hey, this seat taken?" A man says. He pulls up the chair and sits beside me without waiting for an answer.

"Sit there and I'll punch your neck."

He quickly scurried away, and I felt someone watching me. I looked around, but everyone was engaged in their own business. Unless…

I looked towards the bar. Zaluna was still washing dishes, but had her head turned to look at me. Or, more accurately, to point her huge ears at me. My voice! That's how she knew I was here!

I started walking towards her, my cloak wrapped tight around my face. I couldn't risk recognition. For all I knew, the Empire already has a bounty on me.

Turns out, that was a really bad idea. I tripped over the hem and fell into a table. The men sitting in a circle turned to face me, and it didn't look like admiration. Quickly, I backed up, but I bumped into another creature. His drink spilled all over his clothes, and he growled at me. This place was packed!

I could barely move, hammed in between a gang and a creature the size of a sumo wrestler. More people were beginning to see, and they started to chant. _Fight! Fight! Fight!_ The different languages shouting, trying to keep in synch, it would have been funny had I not been the one they wanted to start a fight.

I kept my composure. Slowly, I withdrew a Taser that I had snagged from the guards. Crouching low, I managed to swing it around in a full circle. People fell like flies around me, and I managed to get to the bar.

"Zaluna, it's me, Hera." I said, panting.

"I knew. I could tell by you voice and the chanting. Who else can raise such a ruckus?" The old Sullustan said with a chuckle. "Come one, _Layda, _you're late for work."

"With pleasure, Boss."

"Kallus, there's a transmission coming in from a bar in Gorse."

"A bar, you say?" Kallus raised an eyebrow, which was hard to see because of the helmet he insisted on keeping on, even inside the ship. "What does it say?"

"It says that a fight broke out, and that one of the fighters had a Taser. The same Taser that was stolen today, perhaps?"

"Perhaps. Take us there."

There was a reason, of course. _His _commander, Count Vidian, before he was killed, told stories. Stories of a renegade who worked in a bar. That same renegade that had ruined his career, and "saved" the moon of Gorse. The renegade whose name was Kanan Jarrus.

He didn't believe in coincidences.

The brawl almost immediately seized when Agent Kallus walked into the room. Only one pair was stupid enough to keep fighting, and soon regretted it when troopers came over and arrested them for illegally fighting.

"Kallus," I say calmly, standing straight. There's no point in hiding; he's already seen me.

"Hera. I suppose I've come here to bring you to justice, shall we say," He says, his voice laced with anger.

"Oh?" I laugh in a mocking tone, "Do you really think I'll just step aside and let you take me?"

"No? Then let's fight."

I immediately dove between his legs as he swung forward with his fist. I wheeled on my heels and turned to face him, but I was a second too slow. He slugged me in the stomach and I slid backwards. _I miss Zeb, _I thought as I kicked at a couple of troopers on the side. My taser was lost somewhere in the fray, and so were my blasters. The people out here were so desperate they were willing to steal weapons!

Kallus was done fooling around. He took out his Bo-rifle **(Sorry guys, but seriously. Have I been calling it a Bo-staff this whole time and no one corrected me?!) **and hit a few unsuspecting bystanders with it. I cursed silently under my breath and regained my fighting stance. Then, I yelled as loud as I could while I charged at him. He was stunned for a second, as if he didn't expect such a frontal attack, but a second was all I needed. I grabbed his weapon and deactivated it, and bolted for the door. I tried to smash it on the doorframe, but it was too strong. It clattered uselessly to the floor, and a flood of storm troopers came out to greet me.

That was all I knew before I was hit over the head.


End file.
